Showing posts with label Domestic Bliss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Domestic Bliss. Show all posts

Friday, December 6, 2013

When Gleeks go off

Yes, Jen's a Gleek.  But the way the show's gone downhill lately has her about to give it up.  Especially tonight's episode.  I'm sitting at the computer and I suddenly hear:

"Omigod!  You didn't just jump the shark...you jumped a whole mess of sharks!  And then got torn apart and eaten!"

Is it possible to actually sprain something laughing?

Friday, June 7, 2013

Another night at home

Jen:  There's a T-shirt of Schroedinger's cat vs. Pavlov's dog.

Me:  Who won?

Jen:  Looks like the cat.

Me:  But, being Schroedinger's cat, we don't know if he won, really.

Jen:  Well, we don't know until we check, but until then, he has both won and lost.

Me:  This is why I love you...!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Cheesy Bacon Dog Casserole

Hey, we all gotta die sometime, and if it's by cholesterol poisoning, so be it.  You make this at your own risk.  Not responsible for heart conditions, colon blockage or expanding waistlines.

Wraith's Cheesy Bacon Dog Casserole From Hell

3 cups cooked macaroni
4 hot dogs, sliced 1/4"


4 strips of bacon, sliced in thirds


1 can cheddar cheese soup
1 cup shredded cheese


6-8 slices pepper jack cheese
4-6 oz. crushed Doritos



Directions:

Preheat oven to 350.  While the oven is heating, cook, drain and crumble the bacon.



In a 9x13 baking dish, combine macaroni, bacon, hot dogs, shredded cheddar cheese and soup.  Top with pepper jack slices.





Bake for 25 minutes or until bubbling.  Sprinkle with crushed Doritos and bake for another five minutes.  Serve. 




Duck the objects your wife throws at you for blowing her diet.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Cease-fire

Sam and Glock are normally engaged in battle, but they both love Mom enough to call a truce once in a while:


Just a little dose of cute for ya.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

On idiocy

Wraith:  Hey, they have Hello Kitty squirt guns now!

Mrs. Wraith:  Really?

Wraith:  Yeah, and a 5 year old girl was just suspended for just talking about hers.

Mrs. Wraith:  Why, because it's a squirting pussy?

Wraith:  (chuckle)  Good one.  No, apparently it constituted a 'terroristic threat.'

Mrs. Wraith:  I like my explanation better.  It makes more sense.

Wraith:  Point.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

What Mrs. Wraith puts up with

Mrs. Wraith:  I bought some intellectual reading material yesterday.  Holds up a copy of Astronomy magazine, with a big headline reading, "When Stars Go Bang."

Wraith:  You know what happens when stars go bang.  Astronomers film it and they make star porn.

Mrs. Wraith:  Omigod...

Wraith:  Bowm-chicka-wow-wow...

Mrs. Wraith:  Heads into the bedroom.  I'm not listening to you...

Hey, she had her chance to run away, and she still said "I do."

It's not an unexcused absence!

The dog ate my homework cold ate my plumbing.  Really.

The moron who built this place ran all the water on the property through a shed out back, with a shutoff valve that was nonfunctional.  So when the uninsulated pipes blew up from the recent cold snap, there was no way to stop Prescott Falls other than shutting off all the water to the house.  This is not helpful for such things as cooking, washing the resulting dishes, flushing the toilet, or basically anything.

Now, there was a positive side, at least for me.  When the first thing you see in the morning is a beautiful naked woman standing in the bathtub looking like an even hotter Venus on the Half Shell, that can't help but make your day a little brighter.  When said woman is doing so for the purpose of taking a shower from a couple of cooking pots with stove-warmed water(and definitely NOT happy about it), however...

Well, it is what it is.  Luckily, one of our brothers in the Eagles is a plumber, and managed to solve the problem once and for all, at a more-than-reasonable price.  Once it gets warmer, I'm tearing that damn shed down so that one stone may not stand upon another.  I'll use the lights, sink and AC in the garage, the siding to fix some broken skirting, the frame for firewood, and the leftover drywall and shingles to throw at solicitors who ignore the sign.

As for the leftover concrete pad?  Maybe a big-ass BBQ pit, or if we can score a great deal on a hot tub...

Anyway, I'll be back in full swing in short order.  And Glock just jumped up in my lap and farted.  You probably didn't need to know that, but if I have to suffer through it, you at least have to read about it.